Hester Party of 2..3..4..5..6???: Homeschool mom...can I hack it???

For the last two years I have had the burden on my heart to homeschool. I was in my mom's group in Tulsa and we were reading The Mission of Motherhood. *disclaimer* It is NOT a book about homeschooling, nor do I think anyone else in the group felt convicted to homeschool after reading the book. I highly recommend it for all moms! I found myself wishing that someone had given me this book when I was first pregnant.

Anyhow, God spoke very specifically about homeschooling my kids. He put on my heart that "part of discipling my kids and changing our family for the generations included homeschool." At the time we were planning to move to Azerbaijan, so this didn't seem like that big of a deal. I knew that I would likely need to homeschool in order for them to be on track upon return to the states.
However, as the story goes we are back in the states and I am not homeschooling in Azerbaijan.

Where does that leave us now? It leaves me with this heart that is still heavy burdened by what God spoke 2 years ago. Having just moved to our new town and knowing that I want Emmalynn to be apart of the community here, we visited the school that is literally right behind our house. We met possibly the most welcoming principle and teachers. The kids seem to enjoy being there and Emmalynn remembers "they have a pool!"
I should be excited right?! Then, why am I unable to sleep and filled with anxiety? I started praying and God was faithful to answer "did you forget what I told you 2 years ago?"
No Lord, I haven't forgotten but I am terrified. What if I mess up??? What if I try all of this and my kids end up hating school, learning and learning about you Jesus? WHAT IF???? The list goes on and on as I list all the reasons that I am NOT qualified for this and surely that means that I shouldn't do it.
However, I can't seem to shake the nagging feeling that God is asking me to homeschool. Maybe not forever, but at least for this season. I called the lady over Classical Conversations for Lawton on a Thursday. She was amazing and I was overwhelmed with peace and excitement. I hung up the phone and told Matt that this is how I should feel when it comes to school for our kids.
Friday morning I went to Bible study as I have been for the last few weeks. I go to pick the kids up from childcare and a woman meets me at the door "Is Emmalynn your daughter? How old is she? Is she homeschooled? I homeschool my daughter too and they play great together. Would you like to get together and hang out? Can I give you my number? No, really. Can I give you my number?"
I was so shocked that I think I just stood there staring at this kind woman. I was thinking, is she for real? Does she know how hard it is to make new friends as a mom with young kids? Is she serious? What, your number....oh, YES PLEASE!!! I had tears in my eyes as we drove home. Talk about the faithfulness of God. I made the commitment and God brought someone to encourage me the very next day.
This past week in study God took me took 1 Corinthians 12:9-11 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Therefore, I will choose to delight in this season. I want nothing more than for Jesus to receive all the glory from our family and the raising of our children.