TCK aka Third Culture Kids. This is a term that we learned very quickly when we started training to move overseas. We learned many skills that would prove to be helpful in the transition that our kids would face with leaving their home culture and growing up in a new culture. It is said that a child becomes a TCK when they spend a significant amount of their life in another culture. Well, we may not have lives overseas for long, but to this little boy it was a very significant amount of his life and development.
This is a picture of Josiah shortly before we moved overseas. I see this picture and I weep. He was so tiny and clueless as to what the road ahead would hold for him.
See, Josiah grew up in the Azeri culture, learning the Azeri norms. Where we lived we didn't have play dates at the park, McDonald's or Chik-Fil-A. He was never apart of a nursery or Sunday school class. He never experienced a store like Walmart, Target or even our "small" store Williams. Running into the gas station to pick up some candy or get a slushy isn't anything he knew of.
Our life in Azerbaijan revolved around homes. We had a small corner market that we would do our shopping at. The grocery store was probably the size our Tiger Paw convenient store here in Sterling. We visited friends and friends visited us, but it was always in homes. Even taking the kids to the park is very different than visiting the park in America. There are no jungle gyms or such for kids to play on. Our relationships in Azerbaijan were very special. They were personal and deep quickly. Josiah was hearing the Azeri language all around him. He listened when other "mother hens" talked to him in Azeri. For many months after our return to America he would speak Azeri to people and get frustrated when people wouldn't respond to him.
God recently reminded me of the picture below. It was part of our training before moving overseas. It was an illustration of the process that we go through when moving overseas. God reminded me recently that this illustration still applies to our lives at this point. Our kids still feel "Rootless" and to some extend I do too.
The last couple of months while in our current house Josiah will ask to "go home". I would respond, "we are home baby." Yet, I could see that this is not the response he was needing. I couldn't for the life of me figure where he was wanting to go. We have had so many "homes" over the course of his life, I don't know where "home" is for him. As his mom, I would give anything to take him "home" and for him to feel secure. This got me thinking that I needed to figure out where "home" is for him so that I can better help him in this time of transition and grieving the loss of his "home". After many questions, I finally figured out that "home" for Josiah is our home where our kittens are. Home for Josiah is our home in Azerbaijan. Home for Josiah is where Olya is. Sterling isn't "home" for Josiah. Our community is foreign and intimidating to him. He doesn't understand why Matt does what he does on Sundays. He doesn't understand why no one knows what a "maşın" is. He says often that "everything is too loud" or "too many people." It is! This is all too much for him compared to the life he knew.
Josiah is "Rootless" right now.
Emmalynn remembers our life in America prior to moving overseas and so she has dealt with our return a bit better than Siah. Yet, I know that she is still struggling too. Last week we drove to Tulsa to stay the night. The plan was to visit family and Matt would go to his meeting for ordination. Half way to Tulsa on our drive Em gasps and says "mom. STOP! I didn't bring my stuff. Turn around, we have to go get my stuff." Emmalynn thought that we were moving again and that we had left her stuff behind at our "old house" (current house).
Emmalynn is "Rootless" right now.
\
It's hard! It is so hard as a mom to work through this season. I want my kids to feel happy and secure. I want them to know that they have a home and they can become rooted again. I know that in a few years this won't likely be as impactful. However, today it is still really hard. I keep praying for grace, patience and love for my kids as they learn what it means to live in the American culture again.
No comments:
Post a Comment